TRUTH

What do we name this generation as? Gen X? IT Gen? Or Swami Gen? Shocked? Yeah. This is the generation of both IT as well as Swamis. We, human beings are the best race among all the other living beings of the universe. It is the same energy, same skeleton and the same body that we all have. During our childhood days, we believe in our parents. We do what ever mother or father say. If they tell us not to do certain act, we don’t. If they encourage doing something, we do it with 100% confidence. Slowly, rather unfortunately, we grow big to decide things upon our own. Every human being on the earth has a beautiful asset with him, mind. What factors determine the mind set of the people? There are no definite answers, since the mind set is always prone to change. Do we think in the same way as we used to at our 10 years of age? Or 20 years? Our mind set has kept on changing with our age. Why do we live? Rather, how are we living? We live with hope. We live with the hope that we have a tomorrow. Say suppose, tomorrow is the end of the universe. How will we live today? Now let us talk about some generic terms.

God. What is it? Or who is he? I saw God in my dreams. My friend saw an image of God talking to him. Does anybody like to treat me as a God? I have a question. Why at all the concept of God? My answer: If we are left without any knowledge about fear, good or bad, then our mind sets would never be stable or follow a path. In order to give a proper direction to our minds, to teach us what good is and what bad is, many religions have described God in their own ways. To enforce this belief and fear in people, they have depicted God in various forms. But what if an individual is good by himself, without any fear of God? Does he need to know God? Because of the concept of God, from centuries onwards, people started to fear, people started losing belief, faith and hope in themselves. What is Good? What is Bad? Who decides upon them? What is good for somebody might be bad for the others and vice versa. If there are universal guidelines for goodness and evilness, then why are there so many concepts about them? Most of the people speak about ‘Truth’. God is Truth. Truth is God, etc. What does Truth means? Truth means real. Something that is tangible. Is it something that everybody can realise, feel and prove? If so, what is truth, now? I can tell that irrespective of all the religions, castes, tribes, races of the world, every individual (plant and animal life inclusive) would truly realise, feel and prove that there is air, there is water, there is sun, there is fire, there is earth, there are stars, there is rain, there is wind, there is storm, there is calm, there is night and there is day. Do all these need proofs? Even animals feel this truth. But what about the Gods that we speak about? They are beliefs. If a person like Jesus Christ or Lord Buddha does all good to the human race with all the suffering, they are called God. Those qualities which they had in them are there in every one of us. We just need to realize them.

No body can claim that they are God. It is we, the people who make them God. Suppose you have an illness. You believe that if you approach certain person, your illness would be cured. May be it gets cured. What cured your illness? Did the person treat you with medicines? It is the hope that cured you. You had faith in him. You trusted him. You had 100% confidence in him. So you call him God. Suppose, if somebody believed in you. Say X believed you that you are his saviour. You are his God. But you know who you are. You know that you are an ordinary person with equal capabilities as much as X has. But to him, you are the God. He has faith in you. Hence God is a belief. It is a confidence. It is a hope with which we are living. Or rather I put it as, Hope is God. Confidence is God. Belief is God. God is intangible. What is the difference between an Olympic Gold medallist and a silver medallist? Both have same level of skill. But who ever feels confident, is the winner. But if I have confidence on somebody else. I pray him. I beg him to help me win. I trust him 100% with all my heart. Or rather I leave the result to him. I am happy even if I lose the race. But I need his grace. Even then you will win. This is faith. And that is God.

Hence we have so many different gods. If I tell you that I can heal your illness, will you believe me? No. You will ask thousands of questions. If 10 people tell about me, will you trust me? No. But if thousands and millions of people talk about me, you might believe me. You would try believing me and if you win, you would definitely believe me. Whether you believed me or not, I am the same. But you believed in the others. You believed what people talked about. Your belief has made me God. I am not God by myself. For one who believes me, I am God and for the other I am not. Hence God is a relative term. Why are then so many miseries in the world, when you trust somebody? It is a simple fact that you don’t trust anybody. By trust, I mean 100% faith. You want to trust somebody and at the same time you are unable to trust them 100%. That is why you do not have 100% faith in them. And hence your confidence is low and therefore you are unhappy. What is the solution to this?

Why do you need to believe in somebody? Why do you always want somebody to extend hand for you in case of a misery? Why do you rely on somebody’s answer, when you don’t trust him 100%. Don’t trust them. Don’t wait for someone to help you. Realise that the so-called God whom you wanted to trust and you, yourself have the same capabilities. Start believing yourself. Have faith in yourself. Be happy for yourself, first. Meditate on yourself. Make your people (people who have faith in you, who love you, who want you to be happy, your loved ones) happy always from your side. Be with nature. Enjoy the moon light. Enjoy the rainfall. Enjoy the cool breeze. Enjoy the candle light. Play a game. If you run, you get confidence that your legs and hands are working properly and that you are healthy. Why then you want to lose that opportunity of gaining confidence by yourself? Run, Play, Sing, Dance. If this is what the “So-Called” Gods tell you, these are the known facts. Even a small child would experience all these. As a child, everyone would have done all of these. Why then you want to lose that character? Why do you want to lose your self? Why do you want to fall on somebody? Don’t do that. Somebody might question me, what if I have a serious health problem, for which there is no cure. How do I be confident? Ok, tell me, how does your God heal you? You call it a spiritual healing. All that they do is they give you a hug or they might tough your deceased part of the body. There is no medicine in their hands. It is the happiness you get by their touch that made you survive. It is the faith you have on them. It is the love you have on them, that made you live longer. Again, its your trust, that made them God and not by the virtue of themselves. How often do you visit them? Once a year or twice? So except for those two days, for all the other 363 days, you are sorrow. You are sick. You are a loser. You are a low-confident guy. That means, you are living only for 2 days a year. All the other days are not meant for you. How bad this is? How silly this is? You made somebody God by your belief and you lose your life? Whose mistake is this? Your own. Don’t do that. Live all 365 days full enthusiasm. How can you do that?

By faith. Trust yourselves. Be happy always. Smile at the people. Let your apprehensions and anger go away from you. Treat everyone equally. Treat everyone with due respect that you show for yourselves. Feel that the other person is equally capable, important and lovable as you are. It is your character that makes you win, that makes you happy, that makes you have high spirits. Don’t blame any one for your sorrows. It is you who ruined your life. Don’t worry about the mistakes that you did. You have to forgive your selves. Never repeat them again. And that’s it, you are God. You have realised God. Why pay thousands of bucks to the others and make them rich? Yes. This is true. Do you know how many people have earned and become rich only with the beliefs of innocent people? There are a lot of people who are doing this in today’s world. They are still alive. This field of business is also going on par with the IT field. If they are selfless, they would never charge money for their darshan or they never would have any assets. But this is not the case. There was Mother Theresa, who served millions of people with out demanding thousands of bucks to see her. There were no huge adversitement campaigns made. Hence she received a nobel prize for peace. Refer to the following.

http://www.tehelka.com/story_main.asp?filename=ts032004LIC.asp

http://www.tehelka.com/story_main31.asp?filename=Ne300607Business_Of_the.asp

Smile at the world, Love your family and Be happy for yourself. You will realise the Truth.

ARE YOU HAPPY? PART-1

Ask an old man or an old woman about their life. We hear them saying "Our days were much happier than these days". Even our parents keep saying that their youth days were happier. Even we feel that our childhood days are happier than the present days. Why?

Let us see the reasons.

Upto 1980:

In the olden days (my grand and fore father's generation), life used to be definite. I mean, defined. Lets see how.There used to be certain specific tasks assigned to each one of the family members. And they used to have routine cycle of tasks to be performed, with out any exceptions. Saturday and Sunday also were much alike the week days, because they did the same things on the weekends too. Each couple had a minimum of 4-5 children. As the population of the country was very less (compared to the current day), there were very few educated people who were doing jobs in Govt. sector. Private sector jobs, mostly were in a small scales. A typical day used to begin at 5 AM, when the hen calls. Ladies used to have their routine of cleaning the house and preparing coffee for the entire family. Gents used to perform their regular ablusions and routines, besides consuming coffee. There was not much anxiety or tension to get ready for their duties as the dressing was simple. Ladies never worked. So their job was to prepare breakfast and lunch, hence no tension in going out somewhere. Men walked or used cycles or bus to travel to their work places. Most of the people had home food all 365 days in the
year. They had food outside only when they went out of station. Hence there were very few hotels. Even if there were, there used to be a simple menu rather than a book consisting of 10 pages. As there were no automated machines like fridge, mixer, grinder, blender, washing machine, dough, micro wave oven, etc., women used to perform the daily activities like cleaning, washing, cooking manually. They enjoyed doing those tasks. Most of the families being joint, there used to be many married men and women residing in the same house. All the woman used to share the house hold work of the entire family. Men used to work and come back home in the evening, by which time, women used to complete their household works and start preparing supper. Income of the entire family used to be in hundreds of rupees. 1 thousand rupees was a very huge amount. 1 lakh was a dream. Number of cities were very less. There were only 4 major cities in the country. Sources of entertainment were limited to radio and newspaper, which consisted mostly of political news. There used to be a lot of holidays for men at work and the work timings used to be from 9 or 10 AM to 5 PM. Distant relatives communicated through postal mails. Telephone was a luxury. Hence communication was quite often, say once a month (postal delya's included). Festivals were typical. There used to be home made varities of food, all the people celebrating together, etc. The head of the family, usu the father, used to dictate or direct the entire family and all the members, without any doubts, followed his words. There used to be certian do's and do not's in the family. No waking up after 6 AM. No sleeping in the evenings. No eating on mattresses. No questioning the elders. Writing the balance sheet of the money transactions to the detail up to the least denomination. No breakfast before taking bath. No cooking without taking bath. No being awake after 10 PM. When women are in their menstrual period, they had to live separately in a place in the house for those 4 days and no body touched her,etc. There used to be such guidelines set by the head of the family, which every one followed blindly. There were several advantages in such a rule. All the family members get accustomed to a single type of life, hence no chaos. Since every one share the same treasury, they maintain a common ledger. Raising children was easy, since there was fear of elders for the children. Ladies got full rest during their periods. There were ofcourse, certain disadvantages. Since everyone heeded to the words of the head, their views were never raised, hence there were lot of differences of opinions. If the head of the family was unwise and not concerned, then the family had to suffer. But facts apart, people still believe that those were the happiest days in their lives.

1980 - 2000:

Generation 2 (My parents and uncle's generation). Life was certain. As the population grew, many joint families got split into nuclear families. Each individual nuclear family had their own house. Head of the entire nuclear dynasty still remained. But the decisions of individual lives were upto them. Each couple had 2-3 children. Government and private sectors increased. Machinary was developed. Chemical, electrical, mechanical and civil fields have shown significant changes in the society. Every house now has television, refrigerator, mixer grinder, telephone (land line), gas stove, oven, etc. Women hence got educated in colleges and they pursued their degrees. Number of women doing jobs increased. Hence rules changed. No strict formalities. Lives were customised according to their comforts, core rules being still followed. Family get togethers were limited to once per year. However, marriages and certain rituals were celebrated together. Differences in the lives of individual family units have increased, with their jobs and life styles. Income increased from hundreds to thousands of rupees. 1 lakh was tangible, but with difficulty. Cities have increased. Municipalities have increased. Communication increased with the telephones. Cinema industry was developed from 'Black and White' film to 'East Man Color' and 'Scope' films. Automobiles included mopeds, scooters, while cycles were still in use. Public transport included taxis apart from buses. Local trains in metros have increased their frequencies. People now had no restriction to wake up at 5 AM. They took their own time to relax (be it in the evening or during the day). Women also worked, hence the house hold work and cooking needed help. Servant maids were employed to take care of such works. Newspapers increased. Apart from politics, there were news about films, film stars, geography, history, stock market, etc. GDP has increased with the per capita income in the country. Many new businesses arrived. People started feeling to eat outside their homes, to have a different taste, once a while. Restaurants, theatres, petrol bunks, magazine sellers, cloth show rooms, consumer goods, etc. have increased. Life became more comfortable. People were happy, at the same time felt that they were missing something.

21st Century:

Generation X (Me, My friends and cousins). Life is uncertain. Population of the country has increased exponentially. Nuclear families have become more nuclear. No more government jobs. Only private sector jobs. This is the Electronics, Communication and Software Era. With the advent of software and the increased number of software companies, there are a lot of jobs (in lakhs) in the country. Men and women, all are educated. Engineering colleges, Medical colleges, Hospitals, Business schools, banks, etc. have increased a lot. Per capita income and the standard of living of the people have shown a great hike. Significant increase in the number of people going to the foreign countries like the USA, UK, the Gulf, Canada, Germany, Singapore, Malasia, etc. for pursuing their education or their job careers. Everything has become global. Communication now includes mobile phones, e-mails, internet messengers, etc. Automobiles have increased rapidly. Motor bikes for men and women, cars have increased a lot. Hence pollution increased. Public transport still is limited to buses and local trains in metro cities. Mobile phone has become a necessary commodity in the society. Home appliances now include washing machine, iron box, micro wave oven, Air Conditioner, Digital electronics like camera, handy cam, computers, laptop, etc. Men and women both go to their jobs. A couple in this generation plan to have only 1 child. Many new businesses have increased. People started eating outside as they are deprived of the time to cook at home. Children are raised at cretches. Cooking is only a special activity, usually at the weekends, or a once-a-week activity. Mother and father stay together (in most of the cases), but children go away to various places to pursue their careers. Nuclear families have split. Bakerys, Pizza deliverers, restaurants, ATMs, theatres, shopping malls, electronic shops, have increased a lot. Most of the transactions became online. Banking, bill payment, booking reservations in trains, flights, etc., booking tickets for a movie, etc. Income has increased a lot. People started earning in lakhs. 1 Crore is also becoming tangible. Media has shown a significant diversity. Many private channels have opened up in the Television and Radio. Many different newspapers and magazines have emerged. Cities have expanded and the number of cities is in hundreds. Public administration also changed, but the politics remain the same. People have everything today. Money, comforts, etc. but they feel bored. They are not happy. They are missing something. Why so?

Analysis:

If we observe the trend from the previous generations to the current generation, the life style, income, expenditure, comforts, have increased, showing a positive note. Also on the negative note are the increase in population, pollution, crime, corruption, worries, anxieties, fear, etc. Happiness, on the overall, has decreased. Contentment and satisfaction are no more there with the people. People are stuggling to compete with one another to earn more income. Constructing a house was a life time achievement in the yester years. People used to venture such an act at their 40's or 50's. Today a college passed out student, with an age of 20 years is worried about purchasing an apartment. 1 lakh rupees is a very meagre income. People are losing their happiness and are increasing their risks of ailments. Money earned today is being spent to cure the diseases obtained because of the struggle to earn that money. Stress levels have increased. Students are complaining about head aches, migrane, indigestion, ulcers, depression, nausea, insomnia, etc. What do people want from their lives? Through postal communication, people were contended with the messages they conveyed once a month. Today, with mobile phones, we are addicted to communicate every minute. We are losing the patience to wait for some time to communicate. We are increasing the anxiety to receive phone calls or mails. We are not concentrating on ourselves. Our focus, time and energy are being misused for various practices. At the end of our lives, if we turn back to see what we have achieved, we see that we have lost our entire life to achieve something, which does not give us the real happiness. What has happened with us?

We lost the discipline that our previous generations had. We lost patience. We lost respect for the older generation. We lost faith. We started questioning every act. Questioning is not wrong. I believe strongly that one can practice certain act only if he/she is totally convinced about what one is doing. One can attain such conviction only if he knows what and why he is doing. But the point here is that we are not interested to know about such practices, because we feel that we are much more matured than our previous generation people. We feel that we know more than what they knew and that we are more wiser than them. If so, are we much more happier than them? The answer is a simple 'NO'. Somebody can question me, Is Happiness quantifiable, comparable or tangible? I say NO. But happiness can be felt. One can judge whether the other person is happy or not. Close your eyes, hold your heart and ask yourself "Am I happy?" Think about the reasons why you are not happy. Decide upon what makes you happy. By happiness I do not mean the materialistic happiness that one gets with money. I am talking about the true happiness, that even a peacock can be seen with, when it dances. Money has nothing to do with the real happiness. I know what I am telling and talking might be a bull shit for most of the people. But I am interested in those who really want to be happy. Because I want all the people to be happy. Imagine the world, with all the people being really happy. UTOPIA?

Love Marriage

Disclaimer: All thoughts in the current context are purely personal. Any resemblance to any real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

I never knew that marriages could broadly be classified into Love marriage and Arranged marriage until people asked me which kind of marriage I did. My next question to any of them would immediately be "What love means in a love marriage?" or "What is arranged in an arranged marriage?". None of them would give me a prompt reply. They would always try pulling my leg until I reply them only with "Love marriage". But even now, I cannot differentiate between the two. I tell you why.

Were there these categories in the olden days? When did we start hearing the term 'Love' marriages? Not even 50 years. In a country which has a history and culture over thousands of years, if we are witnessing a new style and new kind of marriage, we need to know the history and the concept of marriage from the ages. Please bear with me, u will have a good ending.

India - A land of traditions, rich culture and heritage since thousands of years. As time had kept changing, the traditions also changed. What do I mean by traditions? Am I speaking about rituals or the purpose there of? My answer would be both. There are many different religions, sects, subsects, castes, cultures, languages in our country. Each section of the society have described their life styles in certain definite fashion. The way they carry out their works, the way they prepare food, eat, treat illnesses, treat the others, speak, behave, etc. Hence there were hundreds or thousands of sects in our country.

People were assessed based on where they were born, the sect they belonged to, the language they spoke, etc. Each sect had its own way of doing things, hence the difference. Ages before, the castes were formed based on the work they did. As for example, there were gold smiths (vishwa brahmins), weavers and carpenters (padmasaalis), merchants (vyshyas), priests (brahmins), kings (Rajputs), etc. Each community had their own independet skill in their work. Hence their own traditions and customs. There came the sub sects based on the regions they belonged to. As for example, there are lot of sects in Brahmins in India. In Tamil Nadu, there are Iyers (Vadama and others), Iyengars(Vadagalai, Tenkalai), etc. Brahmins who migrated from TamilNadu to Andhra Pradesh were called Dravidas. Now there are Konaseema dravidas who settled in the coastal belt of A.P., the Arama dravidaas, who settled in Draksharamam (East Godavari Dt.), the Thummagunta Dravidas, who settled in Thummagunta (Nellore Dt.), etc. Likewise there are 6000 Niyogis, Golconda Vyaparis, Vaideeka (Velnatlu, Veginatlu, Telaganyulu, Mulakanaatlu), and many other sects in A.P. In Kerala, we find Nambeesans, Naboothiris; Karnataka and Maharashtra we find Saraswat Brahmins (Chitrapur, Gowd, Rajapur,etc.), etc. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmin_communities to find all the brahmin communities. Likewise, in almost all the castes, viz. Vysyas (Arya, Kalinga, etc.), Kapu (Munnur, Balija, etc.), Kamma, Raju, etc., there are lot of sub sects prevailing since hundreds of years.

Marriage, a tradition that is commonly followed in all the sects also has been performed in their own styles. Right from searching the bride or the bride groom until the couple finally starts their own life independently, there are various practices that are followed in every sect of our country. But there are many customs and practices that are commonly followed among all the sects. Since Indians believe that they are descendants of the great rishis, they share some gothras (rishi dynasty) in common throughout the country. All the castes and sects have the same rishis as their ancestors. A Gotra is the lineage clan assigned to a Hindu at birth. In most cases, the system is patrilineal and the gotra assigned is that of the person's father. Other names used to refer to it are Vansh, Vanshaj, Bedagu, Purvik, Purvajan, Pitru. An individual may decide to identify his lineage by a different gotra, or combination of gotras. For example Lord Rama was Surya Vansh , also known as Raghu Vansh. This was because Lord Rama's great-grandfather Raghu became famous. Marriages within the gotra ("swagotra" marriages) are banned under the rule of exogamy in the traditional matrimonial system. People within the gotra are regarded as kin and marrying such a person would be thought of as incest. In some communities, where gotra membership passed from father to children, marriages were allowed between uncle and niece, while such marriages were forbidden in matrilineal communities, like Malyalis and Tuluvas, where gotra membership was passed down from the mother. A much more common characteristic of south Indian Hindu society is permission of marriage between cross cousins (children of brother and sister). Thus, a man is allowed to marry his mother's brother's daughter or his father's sister's daughter but is not allowed to marry his father's brother's daughter, a parallel cousin, who is treated as a sister. Marriage, after all is a tradition where a bride and a bride groom marry each other following certain rituals announcing themselves as a couple to the entire society. All the elders and the people in their community bless the couple. All of them celebrate the feast with luncheons and dinners.

Now that I spoke about what 'Marriage' in India means, I will speak about the types of marriages. How does one choose the pair to be coupled? Girl born at a place, boy born in another family, another place, another time. How do one gets to know the details of the 'match' ?

If the details of the pair to be married are known from the elders, relatives or any other source other than the bride and the bridegroom themselves, it is said to be an Arranged marriage. If the details are brought by the pair themselves, it is a Love marriage. In arranged marriage, the elders look for the horoscope match (hence the compatibility), the family background, the economical status, the members of the family and finally ask the bride and the groom to look at each other (In olden days, this provision was not there; The couple does not even look at each other until the marriage is performed.). The customs have been changing with the time. Decades before, there used to be girls in minority numbers and boys in majority numbers. Girls used to choose the boy they wanted to marry in Swayamvara. Further the boy's family had to pay certain money to the girl's family as Kanyasulka. Time has changed and there were girls in majority numbers. Then started the Varakatna (Dowry), where the girl's family pays money to the boy's family. In early days, the elders of the family used to travel places in search of bride and get their boy married at the age below 15 years. The age difference between the boy and the girl used to be very large (nearly 10 years). Divorce rates were very low (almost NIL). Girl was taught to serve the boy's family, her husband, cook food for the family, do household jobs and raise their children. Times have changed and the lifestyles of pepole changed. Technology has been bringing changes in the lives of the people. Today we do not see weavers because we have machinery that produce clothes. Likewise, there are changes in the administration of the government and hence people no more are continuing their age old traditional jobs. Instead they are doing various other jobs. So the life style and the customs which were once bsaed on their jobs and their regions have been changing with the exodus of people who have been migrating from one place to the other in search of jobs. There has been an exponential exodus from the rural areas to the urban areas. In such a lifestyle, the traditions and customs no more are applicable and hence they changed. If we look at the current generation youth in the present day, there are a majority of youth working in private sectors in banks, IT firms, hospitals, retail stores, etc. All of these youth are travelling across the world. Their so called 'native' culture is not getting implemented and imbibed to them due to the changing lifestyles.

From generations, we have been watching the changes that are taking place in the society. Inter-caste or inter-religious marriage was a sin in the older days. Today the society is accepting such marriages. Women are working in large numbers compared to the women in the olden days. In this scenario, how are the 'arranged' marriages getting arranged when there are very meagre people who belong to the same sect are living together? Through relatives, matrimonial agencies, media (newspapers, internet, etc.). How well the girl's family is knowing about the boy's family? They are strangers before the marriage. No aquaintance at all. We are blindly believing the people and hence their family. Economy wise, there is a very large scale of economy today. Middle class has large limits and the limits are getting expanded. Therefore the marriages today are a kind of marketing and sale, unless one really knows about the other party. Today since the number of girls is very less compared to the number of boys and since the number of orthodox families are less in number, sect/sub sect/job are not being the criteria for selecting the match. Parents are being helpless in getting the matches. They are relying on external sources like marriage buereaus, friends and relatives. Hence the 'arranged' marriage is becoming difficult and worrisome.

Love marriages, on the other had, wherein the girl and the boy get to know about each other before introducing themselves as a couple to their elders, are hence increasing in numbers. Women in today's world, unlike women in the previous generations, are being treeated alike with men. They are also getting educated and are being raised similar to that of a male child. Women are working in every field and are travelling across the globe. In this scenario, the exposure of girls to boys and hence the opportunity of selecting ones spouse is more. People are working in teams, getting closer, sharing their thoughts and feelings and have started sharing the accomodations. In fact, they are living together, being away from their parents. Even though they are with their parents, they are choosing their own 'kind' of person for marriage. If the couple is liked by their elders, they make arrangements for their marriage and hence it would become a love - cum - arranged marriage. If their marriage happens without the consent of their elders, it would be called a pure Love marriage. In either case, the couple are solely responsible for their 'love' and 'marriage'. As a matter of fact, divorce rates have increased exponentially these days compared to the olden days. Has that anything to do with the increasing 'Love' marriages? I say 'Yes'.

No doubt every person has certain likes and dislikes, which are subject to change anytime. If a boy and a girl claim that they love each other, what is it they are loving actually? Is it the physical beauty of the other person? Is it the tastes and interests that the other person has or is it the level of understanding the other person has with regards to this person? These love marriages happen in the age group of 18-30 years. That is the age when ones beauty is at the optimum in ones entire life; Age where the 'self' mind and body change with the external world; where the mind gets freezed; age where there is attraction in the beauty, sex and other worldy pleasures; In such an age group, how does one claim to 'Love' the other person?

Someone is unable to live without seeing the other person, without talking to the other person or without contacting the other person. Is this love? Are they eligible to get married? Will they be happy after the marriage till their lsat breath? If so, why are the divorce rates increasing in large numbers in the so called 'Love' marriages? If the current generation youth mean that they know what love is and hence are convincing the elders, does this mean that the people who lived and have been living since generations do not know what love means?

Here I am not talking about couples who are happy with their 'love' married lives. I am talking about cases who, upon marrying somebody who they loved, are breaking up their relations. According to me, love is something that is neither tangible nor measurable. It is just a feeling towards the other person. Practically, the amount of 'love' changes with the actions of the other persons. Hence it is tangible. Since you love someone more than the others, it is measurable also. Hence the term 'Love' does not fit in this kind of marriages. These marriages also are arranged, but they are arranged by the partners themselves. Hence name it as 'Self-arranged' marriage. Do not call it 'Love' marriage. If love is eternal, why are marriages not eternal? Because the marriages are self-arranged and since 'self' is always prone to change, the relationship changes.

Now comes the question, in either cases (arranged or self-arranged), since self is prone to change and since 'love' is being understood as behaving in the way the other person feels happy about, how to maintain healthy relationships throughout the lives? Go through my 'MARRIAGE AND LOVE - PART 2' for answers.

Dare to Dream

Why are we living?

Is it just because that we were born and as part of nature, we have to die and hence we have to pass the time till our death? Though this is true, we dont directly agree upon this.Then what else are we living for? We live to fulfill our dreams. What dreams? Those that were unfulfilled and hence carried forward from the previous births and those that we dream while at work or during the class.

Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam always tells the youth of India to dream, dream and dream. And we, the youth (pls. dont doubt me) of India have lot of dreams.

A Typical Dream while listening to the class in the college:

A decent job (white collar) in a good firm, with a good pay package (pay = pay++ in every dream), in the field of our interest only for 8 hrs a day and 5 days a week, with ample holidays a year and good amount of shares from the company. Supplements for this dream: Company's bi-annual corporate party's, luncheon's every now and then, cab drop and pickup, etc.

Poor youth wakes up to see the reality!!
Students of any background (be it Science, Arts, Mathematics, Electronics, chemical, aything for that matter, end up joining in IT companies). Hence a White collar job with a tie, pay package always half than dreamt, job always not of ones interest, minimum of 12 hrs in the office, also sometimes during the weekends, no shares, very low hikes, but freeeeee coffee and tea.

Dream while at work:
Role change (Project Manager, Senior Consultant, Vice President, etc.), Onsite trip, Home made lunch in the tiffin box, dinner with family, only 8 hrs of work, no weekend work, own 2 BHK flat very near to the office, a car, etc.

Reality:
Breakfast, lunch, snacks at office. If one is lucky, he gets the chance to eat supper at midnight (after 11PM). Otherwise, dinner also at office. A minimum of 12 hrs stay (though one works or not) in the office, sometimes during the weekends, 2 hr bus journey one way, house atleast 20km from the office, etc.

Freshers:
"Hey u know, I got through the last interview round of AAA company; Guess the pay package?? Its 3L p.a.""Oh is it!! You know, after 2 years of exp. u can jump into YYY; Then you can demand for atleast 8L;"

After 2 years:
"Dude!! I got my H1 stamped. Me flying to NY; Lufthansa - via Frankfurt;""Cool da!! This ZZZ neither gets my visa done nor pays a good package here;""Oh I am sori, ask your PM whether they would send u to onsite or not; If not tell them that u will be leaving the company;
They will automatically get ur stamping done; Or else quit the company and join SSS and u can demand for 100% hike;"

B.Tech (any specialisation) from any university, M.Tech, B.Sc., M.Sc., MCA, BCA, and any other graduates from any background, from any part of India do those courses to get a 'GOOD' job in a 'GOOD' IT firm.

Let us consider the following statistics: (All the figures are Mean values)

Number of States in India with good number of colleges : 15
Number of Engineering colleges in a state : 100

Number of specialised branches in a college : 3

Number of students per class : 40

Number of students leaving abroad for studies : 10

Therefore total number of engineering students trying for jobs in India per annum = (40-10) * 3 * 100 * 15 = 1,35,000

Number of PG (MCA, M.Sc, etc.) colleges in a state : 50

Number of students in a class : 30
Total number of PG students trying for jobs in India per annum = 30 * 50 * 15 = 22,500

Let the number of graduates (BCA, B.Sc, etc.) who get into jobs per college be 10. (Since majority of students prefer joing their masters and since the IT companies hire lesser number of these graduates).

Total number of graduate students trying for jobs in India per annum = 10 * 50 * 15 = 7,500

Apart from these guys, let the number of previous batches unemployed students be 35,000. (This is actually a very high number, but lets take the least possible number).

Hence the grand total number of people applying for IT jobs as freshers per annum would sum to 2,00,000.

Where are the IT companies located in India?

In cities like Bangalore, Hyderabad, Pune, Noida, Chennai, Mumbai, Gurgaon, Trivendrum, Calcutta, etc. These cities have become so much populated and polluted that the roads that were laid are not being sufficient to accomodate the increased traffic. Hence the fly-overs, road widenings, etc. Exponential raise in the number of apartments, vehicles, taxes, fast food centres, curry points, baby creches, corporate schools, colleges, ATM centres, shopping malls, mobile
showrooms, private banks, car showrooms, multiplexes, etc.

A typical day would start at around 6:30 AM. Get ready and leave the house by 7:30 AM (breakfast optional). Reach office @ 9 AM (just within 1.5 hrs), have lunch @ office (sodexho coupons or food courts), work till 8 or 9 PM and reach back home @ 10 or 11 PM. Meanwhile have sumptuous snacks @ 6 PM in the office. Have dinner @ 11 PM and sleep after 12 AM.
Weekends:
Wake up not before 11AM, bath is optional; have a brunch (breakfast cum lunch), get ready in the evening to go out somewhere, end up in eating dinner at 11 PM, come back and watch TV till 2 or 3 AM.

Say suppose an average an IT professional gets paid 3.6L p.a. ~ 30K per month.Since most of the people stay away from their places and home towns, they end up staying in rented houses. So every month expenses include rent, food (outside), servant maid fees, travel expenses, mobile bills, freak out expenses and others. One feels that one saves a good sum of amount every month after having spent some amount for his/her benefits and enjoyment. With such a poor discipline and improper food habits, one is vulnerable to get symptoms of certain ailments at early stages (mid 30's), by which time one would have saved a good sum of amount. Now we go to gym, walking, yoga centres, dieting, etc.

If one is interested in purchasing atleast a 1000 sft 2BHK flat, one ends up taking it for a min. of 25 L in a very huge apartment complex, where he/she pays some amount towards maintenance, car parking, etc. It takes atleast 20 years to repay the total loan amount. So in a couple, both the people start working. Since there would not be time to take care of children, they are bound to be raised in baby cretches. Parents then join them into corporate schools, where they end up paying lots of sums for admissions into lower standard classes. School is just a big building and nothing more. Vast syllabuses, coaching centres, etc.

This is the trend that is prevailing in the cities since 7-8 years (21st century).
I dont say this is wrong or people are over ambitious. After one completes his/her 60 years of life in this lifestyle, what does one have at the end of his career? You have every thing in your life - Own flat, car, working life partner, children studying in corporate colleges/corporate companies, health awareness, etc.

But are we really happy?

Are we completely satisfied with out lives?How many % of people really say that they are totally happy?Every student's dream has come true. They have successfully lived their dream. So are they contended? An obvious answer is 'NO'. Dreams are never constant. They keep changing with our lives.

Dreams are the motivation of life. One has to dream about ones life. We always try to achieve what we dream. Though not 100%, we atleast try doing that. That is how life moves on.
But the difference between a happy man (rather wise man) and all the others is that the wise man knows what to dream. Dream just does not occur to him. He knows what is real happiness. He dreams wisely.

I am not a wise man. I am still one among the crores of population, one among the many lakhs of IT professionals, still dreaming when to quit the existing company and join a new one with a good pay package, waiting for the time to arrive when I can dream wisely, take wise steps in my life.

India vs USA - an Indian

Before our independence there was only one goal - freedom. It was difficult for us to be slaves for the Britishers and work for them. Hence there was unity among us. We had a common goal and we made a bloodless revolution in the history of the world.

Post independence, we are left with lot of freedom. In a country or a family or a team or a ship, if there is no good leader or a father or a captain, it becomes chaos. Everyone in this country have become so free that no body cares to listen to the others, but always want the others to listen to them. Now we are so free that we can do what ever we feel like doing. We do not have any rules (oops.. there are rules, but we do very well know how to break them). Everybody has become self-centered. What happens if everybody wants to sit on a single chair at the same time and there is no queue? Chaos and Confusion!! This is the current situation of our country.There was a popular patriotic song in Hindi "jaha daal daal par sone ki chidiya karthee hai basera.. woh bhaarat desh hai mera..jaha satya ahimsa aur dharam kaa pag pag lagta dera .. woh bharat desh hai mera.."

There were days when we banned the foreign clothes and burnt them up and started weaving our clothes. Today we pay lots of amounts to import and purchase the foreign clothing. Peter England, Oxemburg, Arrow, Louis Phillippe, etc. Every product that we use is foreign. Soaps, Shampoo, Tooth paste, clothes, food, jewellery, what not? Why are we trusting the foreign brands and not ours? We believe that those products are more genuine than ours. Though they cost more, we opt for them. Why dont we trust our products? Why do we feel that our products have poor quality than the others? Why do we laugh at the songs once sang about the greatness of our country? Why do people want to settle in the abroad and become permanent citizens of those countries? Is it only because of money? Are we really poor?

In countries like USA, Canada, etc. where there is a social security, life is different. Children's education upto 12th standard is free of cost. There is not much stress or pressure on the students to get a good rank in the engineering or medicine entrance tests. Their system of education is different. Those who want to study will go to the college and attain education in the field of their own interest, be it arts, anthropology, archeology, music, marketing, painting, etc. There is no competition and fight to attain state ranks or country ranks. Individuals are accessed and graded by their own calibre, assignments, quizzes and hence there is no ranking system to create stress and pressure among the students. Further more there is no fear for fetching jobs. English, being the common language throughout the country, people would leave their parents and home towns in search of jobs and start living independently. They would earn money for their education, thus relieving their parents from the stress of paying lots of amounts for their education. They would take up any job and study while earning (rather, earning while studying). Jobs need not be white collar ones. I have seen Indian students working for pizza huts, restaurants, malls, wallmart and other retail malls, gas stations, etc. Hence in such an environment, only those students who really are passionate to pursue their studies would study and the others would happily work and earn.

Work culture is also quite different from ours. Every individual is paid on hourly basis. Hence they get paid for the amount of work they do. Usually everybody works only for 8 hours a day; 8 hrs of productive work, unlike our system where we stay in the office for about 12 hours though there is productivity only for 7-8 hrs. Hence we end up accumulating stress. Due to the disturbed food habits that we have and due to the irresistance to the various tastes and varieties of food that are available in our "God knows how clean they are" restaurants, we end up facing health related problems.

The entire world knows that medicine and doctor consultation are damn cheap only in India!! Any RMP (Registered Medical Practitioner) or even a pharmacist in a medical shop would prescribe medicines by listening to the patients complaints and symptoms. In the US, every individual pays certain amount every month towards medical insurance. In case of any ailment or disease, they get coverage from the insurance company, otherwise which they cannot afford to pay the medical bills, since medicine is a costly affair there. Doctors there do not take the risk of prescribing medicines just by listening to the complaints. After a series of certain specific tests, they do prescibe the medicines. Since medicine is cheap in India and since there is no medical insurance for the common man, we do not bother about our health and body unless we face serious issues. Since there is a fear of paying huge amounts to the hospitals, people in the US try to maintain their health by taking proper rest, good exercises (gyms, swimming pools, etc. as we see are hence constructed in every apartment).

Continuing about the work culture, there is no official retirement age in the US. As long as they are healthy (usu. till the age of 70 years), they keep working. They try to use their brain and muscle till their death, unlike here in India, where we quit working after 60 years of age. Quality of work is given utmost importance there in the US. Quality of the product, cleanliness at the place of work and environment, systematic approach, honesty and integrity have made their companies and products reach the entire ch the entire world.

Why don't we have cleanliness in our environment? Why are our products poor in quality? Is it because we do not have enough money? Nope. We do have money. We have lot of money with us, but it cannot be claimed to be said as money in official records, because it is black. I believe that we have lot of potential in the form of money to repair our entire system, which no body wants to do.

What is black money after all? Is it black in color?The money an individual gets from any source which pays him/her unofficially, for which there are no records, no bills, no receipts, no taxes, is termed as black money.

In the US, there are two kinds of taxes. Federal tax and State tax. IRS (International Revenue Servie) considers Federal tax for the nation and State tax for the respective state for which the tax is paid. Taxes are deducted at the source (Salary). Also, people who deal with any kind of business also pay taxes. There are bills for every item that we purchase. There are records for every transaction that we make. Hence the government gets money from the people in the form of taxes, which it uses for various purposes, which are directly evident in the US society.
How many of us pay taxes regularly? We know that there are many businessmen and popular figures in the society who made huge profits yet never paid taxes. Yet we adore them. We have lot of money with us. We want our government to mint money but we never want to pay or give back to the society. Help to the society need not be in the form of voluntary donations or giving food. If every one of us pays taxes regularly, we will have more white money, which could be used for common purposes. Why are US roads so beautiful? Why is the traffic highly regulated? Why are the rules strictly followed there? Given a google map or a map quest map, any individual can reach any place in the entire US. How many years would it take for us to see such luxury in India? After looking at the cleanliness, roads and traffic regulation in the US and UK, I felt that the Britishers should have ruled for 50 more years to have established such system in India too.

Now the next question arises. If we had good sum of white money, would it be properly utilised with out any corruption? Due to the ineffective buearocracy that we have, oops...that we encouraged to have in our judicial, legistative and administrative departments, we have successfully murdered the honesty and integrity and hence knowingly encouraged corruption and crime.

We are very happily living in our indisciplined chaotic society and have no worry to think about how to bring in change, since we know that we as individuals cannot do anything, "ANYTHING" against the gigantic elements like corruption, crime and pollution which are deeprooted in our society.

I am not Motta BOSS as in Sivaji, but as an Indian who really wants to see our products, our companies fetching fame in the world, I wish there could be only white money, which could be efficiently and effectively used for the nation and therefore see the true independence of India. We shall then sing the songs and make the freedom fighters feel proud to see clean, honest, happy India.

I ain't saying Thanks!

No thanks for him who dint bid Good bye for me!!
http://injeytoday.blogspot.com/2007/07/i-aint-saying-goodbye.html


No Thanks for him who taught me how to blog.
It was he who taught me how to create a blog and make changes in it.



No Thanks for him who took the responsibility of tasting my recipies.
without whom I would not have become a good cooker (Chef).



No Thanks for him who patiently answered my dumbest doubts.
He just says "I will kill you" or "Sir, common wake up" to make me alert and feel that I have asked him the most stupid question.



No Thanks for him who enacted with me at TAGCA.
Without which people would have not known his talents.



No Thanks for him who awakened my interests in FRIENDS.
Though we watch the episode, we discuss and enact them together thus enjoying each and every pinch of the episode.



No Thanks for him who inspired me in watching English movies.
Spiderman (all 3 versions), Ben-Hur, The Prestige, Memento, Blair witch project, God Father, Good Son and most importantly, The Matrix (all 3 versions).



No Thanks for him who made me understand the concept of The Matrix
I only knew there was some super power with Neo and Morpheus until he taught me what Matrix was.



No Thanks for him who listened to all my thoughts and feelings (also my songs).
There used to be long discussions even on the silliest topics as whether to have Veggie burger or rice for lunch.



No Thanks for him who read all my blogs and says its ok and nothing else.

No Thanks for him who tastes my food during the preparation and says he does not know any tastes.



No Thanks for him who shared my RMs, calls and bugs,


because he plays games at 2AM in the night while I am in deep sleep.



No Thanks for him who taught me Tirukkural Kurals,
apart from letting me know what the Kural actually means.



No Thanks for him who taught me Tamil,
after I harassed him with shower of questions what something means in Tamil (esp. Ka Ka Ka Po)



No Thanks for him who showed me how to use iPod,
and listen to the songs while at work.



No Thanks for him who shared more than just the room
The laughs we had, the thoughts we shared, the food we ate, the memories of his childhood and college days that he shared, the photos that we shared, the rugby catches we played, the dieting we tried (and failed everytime), the shopping we did will never be forgotten.

MARRIAGE AND LOVE - PART 2

Every person in this world is unique. Ones characteristics are determined by ones birth, family (parents first, then relatives), friends, society, environment in which one lives, the experiences one undergoes and above all pre-life karma. All these put together will frame a person's thoughts -> ideas -> attitude -> behaviour -> habits. As long as one follows dharma, one is never bad. There are nothing called good actions or bad actions. All are experiences. Suppose you try eating in a new restaurant and u dont like the food. Would you try the next time? Or say, you have tried something new in your life after 30/40 years and you happened to like it. You would enjoy it. So our experiences teach us how to live.

We are social beings, meaning we are dependent socially on one another. Are we living on our own without the help of any other person in the world? We cannot. And we should not. As I said before that each person is unique in this world, we should not expect the others to behave just like us or to think just like the way we think. First of all, are we stable? Given a situation, can we behave the way we want to? Are our thoughts constant and stable? Can we stop thinking that we dont want to think about? Can we behave all the time in our life as we want to? No, rite!! When we are not sure of our behaviour, thoughts and our feelings, how can we expect the other person to have the thoughts or behaviour that we want them to have?

People say that similar horoscope people have similar charactestics. If so, there should be 12 sets of people in this world (as per the 12 zodiac signs) and all the groups should live independently in 12 different countries. A mother will love her child, whatever horoscope the child has. That is what is love. She just loves the child, without expecting anything in return from the child. We are raised by our parents. Both of them work hard to feed us, educate us, take care of us. All 3 of us are different. Their thoughts are different from ours. But why do they still love us? Why do they take care of our health, food, clothing, education when they know that we think differently? Is it just because they feel its their job/responsibility to raise us? Do they not love us as we are? Undoubtedly, the answer for this question is NO. Siblings are wonderful creation by parents and God. We share our feelings, thoughts with them. We fight with them. We enjoy spilling ink on their chart. We tease their friends, tastes, etc. One day after we get separated, we feel love for them. Though we are not alike, we miss them. We truly love them. Friends are the ones we choose and make. No two people are alike. But we bear them and be with them. We support each other and share our thoughts, happiness and miseries. Throughout our life, we keep meeting many people. Very few remain as good friends to us. Though separated geographically, we will have love for our friends.

Why then, in the case of spouse, we expect a lot from the other? Why do we want the other person behave the way we want them to behave, when we are not sure of how we behave? This is applicable to both the parties. Sometimes our parents, siblings and friends do not behave the way we want them to, and we get irritated. We feel like running away from them. But when you are away, you feel like being with them and bear their behaviour. Its because we truly love them. They bore us for 20 years and cant we bear them? But in the case of spouse, we love more than required. The quantity of love exceeds so much that we hurt ourselves and the other person sometimes. Let the other person behave the way he/she wants. Do not take anybody for granted. After all every individual in this world needs some private space. Do not suffocate others by your thoughts. Try to be happy yourself first. Let the other person be happy in their own way. If you want the other person to be happy in the way you want, first prove him/her that u are truly happy. Do not force the other person. It might actually hurt him/her. When we, parents, siblings live together for so many years, though we are different in thoughts, why cant the couple live together?

Through marriage, one gets a LIFE partner, meaning..partner for the entire life. How careful and how helpful one should be to maintain the partnership? Both the persons have their own strengths and weaknesses. To err is human. So every person would have some limitations. One should try to live with the others weakness and try rectifying them through love. One should not set a deadline for the change. After all, it is the individual who has to change. Through marriage, one opens the door of one's life. Husband and wife form a key and lock pair. There is only one combination for the door to open. And only one key suits for a lock. So both form the necessary and sufficient condition to grow and learn from the nature. We feel that it is we who selected the other person and made the marriage happen (Both arranged and love marriages). But as popularly said, marriages are made in heaven. The lock and key are already made and set. When time arrives, the lock gets married to the key. It is with the help of the other person that we grow, learn and experience the nature, which is the purpose of our life. Nature is not only the air, water, fire, earth and sky. Its the humanity, the God inside every living/non-living being, the energy that is associated with them. (Refer my God blogs for this)

Throughout our life, we know that we are not the same. We change. We learn from our expereinces and others experiences. We also learn from books, incidents that we witness, sayings of some persons, great people's lives (dead or alive), blogs written by great people, etc. Unknowingly and unnoticeably, we incorporate some things from all of these. As human beings, the only species that have brains to analyze, think and manipulate, once we know that what we feel is not healthy or what we think is not logical or how we act is not fair, why do we want to continue doing them? May be we want to change. Then what is stopping us? Are the enzymes, harmones and genes so powerful that they are controlling us? Brain is much more powerful than all of these. If brain stops functioning for 5 minutes, trust me, all parts of the body freeze. When we have such powerful tool embedded in a hard shell (the skull), why are we not utilising it? Is it because our heart is controlling the mind? If we wish to change, our heart approves it. Then the request is taken to the brain and the process happens there. Our heart knows that we have to change and the request is taken to the brain. But somebody is stopping the brain from processing. Stupid guy!!

The difference between a person who passes the exam and the person who fails to pass the exam is that the former has the passion or the necessity to pass the exam and the later has neither. Anything that we want to achieve or pursue is the outcome of our passion or necessity. If both lack, we fail to achieve what we want. Dreaming to become something is interest, not passion. What do we need to do to be passionate about something? There are a lot of forces inside us. Which one wins, comes out. So what do we need to do to increase the force of certain task? F = m a. If mass remains constant, acceleration has to increase in order for the force to increase. The interest should increase. It should defeat all other forces that draws it back. So the force in us to change our thoughts has to be increased.

I know that what I am talking is rubbish and wierd. Is it a car pedal to increase the force? Its not so easy and simple. If I am here to provide a ready reckoner on how to increase passion or force, I would be a God. Yes God. He would really give us the force to be passionate. But how do I know? Am I His PA to tell in His favour? No rite!! So dont trust me. Then whom to trust? I dont tell anybody to trust somebody. Then are the readers crazy to read all this wierd stuff and just waste their time? So here are some tips and tricks to try out.

STATUTORY CAUTION: These can be followed on your own will and wish. If it does not work out, dont run for me.

1. First decide upon how you want to be. There are no hard and fast rules that one should be like Mahatma Gandhi or one should be like Mother Teresa. But one needs to analyse and think about what is good and what is bad for the others and then the self. As I mentioned earlier, love all. Do not expect anything in return. Love people as they are. If you are able to change yourself, may be you can change the others. So start the change from within. Dont wait for the others to change. You set your priorities and ideal behaviour first.

2. When a situation arises, where you are not able to behave the way you wanted to, try to act in the way you want to. Life is a drama. After all, why can't we really act in this drama. This really works. Just feel the others as co-actors. You will have fun. Ofcourse they would live in their characters, but you would enjoy. Suppose you are unable to control your temper and feelings and have behaved in the orthodox way, write down the test results. This is what QA is. Write down the test case (Test Case ID, Date, Steps to produce, Expected Result, Actual Result).

3. Next time when the situation arises, feel that you are a Savithri (best female actress) or Kamal Hasan (best male actor....warning...do not over feel and kiss the heroine..u might actually get hurt) or any of your favourite actor and start behaving the way you want to. We actually have to learn a lot from FRIENDS... Learn from Pheebey and Joey how to act...

4. This time suppose it worked out 1%. Update the test case.

5. Next time different scenario..different stage..different actor..update the test case..One day you will find a bug free test report. Always remember one thing. Love people as they are. Love them. Dont hate any body. We do not know how many hate us.

All this seems crap, rite!! What do you think of me, rascal? Dont we have our own feelings? Its so simple to preach.. Act itseems... u bachelor fellow.. dont have any other work except to write such scrap blogs and spoil our time and mood?????? You get married first..then preach....Now stop here and dont write anything more!!

If you feel the above for me, forgive me.. But if you want to give a try, my blog is always activated for you.