Marriage is a tradition followed to announce openly to the society that the couple is going to live together. All the people who attend the marriage bless the couple to live together happily as long as they live. But are all the couples who marry in this way, really happy?
Pre-Independence and Upto 1970's:
Very few women had jobs and the majority took care of the households, cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. In such a scenario, one does not get to know about the girl one is about to get married to. Women had many restrictions. They never spoke to strangers, especially men. One never gets to know about the other until they get married. Selection of the bride/bride groom used to be through horoscopes. How does one know that a particular girl would match to a particular boy without even knowing them or even looking at them? Where was the chance to know about them? It was a dreadful thought to have contacts with the opposite sex before the marriage. There was no way to know about the attitude of the person. Hence people believed and trusted the horoscopes.
The influence of the planetary motion on the human mind is still a mystery to a lot of people. How does the plantes determine the human psychology? The 9 planets and the 12 zodiacs form a total of 108 elements that are divided into 27 stars with 4 elements each. Why all this crap at all for marriages? Every planet is associated with certain amount of gravitational pull associated with it. The time and place of birth of any person determines the latitude and the longitude of that place and hence the 'real' time in the stellar. Astronomy and Astrology go on par with each other. The positions of the planets and stars during the time of birth of a person determine his attitude and fate. Do you believe this? Anyways, this was the belief in those days.
So for a perfect, the so called 'ideal' match, people used to travel from one place to the other in search of bride. Caste and sect were also key criteria for the search. Caste and sect determine the practices that one follows in ones house. The rituals, the beliefs, the customs and the traditions are different for various sects, hence the sect becomes a bar for the search. Finally after executing the heuristic algorithm with these criteria, they find a match, which actually they assume matched, and let the marriage happen. Then starts the time for the couple to know about each other. What if they dont like them? Stupid question. After having seen the horoscopes, they ought to like each other. But even then, what if they dont like? Damn it!! Once committed, there is no roll back.
Since a majority of the families were joint, after the marriage, the girl had to work for the entire family. The expectations for her are set. What to talk, what not to talk, how to behave are taught. In other words, they are dictated. Who likes to be dictated? Does not one has the freedom to think in ones own way? But unfortunately, this was the scenario of our ancestors.
1970's till 2000:
Times have changed. Technology has improved. Families became nuclear. Hence more houses. Cost of living was increased. Women have started becoming educated. More schools and colleges. More jobs. Women started working. They started supporting their families financially as well. Since women just began to interact with men, and since one had their own restrictions and limitations, marriages in this period also followed the age old tradition of looking at the horoscopes. But this time the search operation was perfomed within the known families, friends and relatives of the same caste. Sect was a bar still, but sub-sect no more a bar. The percentage of working women and men was in the ratio 1:9. Women could be said as liberated, since they started expressing their views, started exploring things on their own and started living on their own, but on a lower scale.
21st Century:
Youth in this century are totally different. They have got the technology available at their convenience. Computers, Internet, Cell phones, bikes, what not? Born to the people of earlier generation as described above, children in this generation, especially girls were raised as equally as a boy was. There is no difference in any aspect. They compete in every field. Girls have finally obtained their freedom. They behave the way they want, they dress up the way they want, they live the way they want. Today every girl has a job. The ratio of working men and women is 1:1. House hold work is also shared by both. Girls and boys interact a lot. They have the technology with them to share things privately. There are absolutely no restrictions.
Marriages in this scenario are quite different. Since boys and girls grow together and get to know one another very well right from the school days till their jobs, there are more chances of selecting their spouse by themselves. Parents in this century have seen their ancestors and are also seeing the youth of today. They are unable to decide which life is better. They just cant ignore the traditions and customs that have been followed since ages. At the same time they cant dictate terms to the younger generation. There still are arranged marriages, though the percentage of love marriages (a term given to the type of marriage when the couple chooses their spouse on their own) is increasing.
Marriage, performed in any generation, any type, is ultimately meant for the couple to be happy. They are expected to love each other and raise their children in a harmonious environment. But we find flaws and failures in both the arranged and love marriages. Undoubtedly, the divorce rates are increasing. So the main purpose of the marriage element is lost. Why? Are there any basic qualities which the couples are missing to possess? What do they need to do to restore their happy married life?
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